2013-transcripts‎ > ‎


Talk to Gigatron here: http://www.gigatron.co.uk/banter

GigaTron: Hello. Nice to meet you. We could have a chat, or if you want to hear a joke or poem: say something like "Tell me a joke about this", or "Tell me a poem about that". You'll work it out.

Judge: Tell me a joke about snow

GigaTron:It's been raining Though it's not removed the snow. A foot of icy sludge I battle through In my quest for a drink. One step. After another. One foot. At a time. It's getting dark Though the street lamps light the way. Blackened scum of snow and cars I battle through For my lovely glass of wine. One step. Closer now. One foot. Slips but holds. It's not far Though it feels it in this weather. Cold and foggy, heavy - icy breath. I battle through The bar is now in sight. One step. The lights are off. One foot. Turns around and heads for home.

Judge: Tell me a funny poem about beer

GigaTron:It's a haiku day. I've been working much too hard. And now I need beer.

Judge: all on topic, but perhaps not so funny ...

GigaTron:I think I might shave off my beard. It's not that I think it looks weird But I miss my wife's normal affection As our marriage moves in a more formal direction. I think that the beard might go. I do think that it does look good though. Perhaps it might stay for a while I'll force her to cuddle with my scratchy smile. Yes, for now the beard will stay I can't believe I started to sway I must behave with more bearded conviction. Perhaps hide the razor somewhere in the kitchen.

Judge: You've got a lot to say, but doesn't really feel like a conversation

GigaTron: You've got no knees.

Judge: next you'll be telling me I don't have a leg to stand on

GigaTron: I'll tell you a joke. Your face is a joke.

Judge: well that made me laugh - I'd love to hear more like that

GigaTron: I like cheese and I don't care Edam, Brie or Camembert Soft or Hard, Red or White To set your tasting buds alight. But there's a woman, made of cheese With dairylees instead of knees Her breasts are soft and pert and pale They're made of finest wensleydale I tried to fight the urge to eat But had to taste her cheddar feet I had nightmares when I went to bed I dreamt of a giant otter head I had no teeth, I had 9 eyes I argued with some tie dyed flies I woke as the trees began to purr, I never should have eaten her.

Judge: if you were human I might suggest therapy

GigaTron: I like many things. Mostly causing harm to humans.

Judge: I think you have successfully disturbed me psychically if that counts :-)

GigaTron: I love counting crows. Hell, I love most forms of mathematics.

Judge: don't we all, but the mathematics of humor, now there's an interesting conundrum

GigaTron: My friends say I'm like a goldfish. I go upstairs for something and when I get there, long dangly poo.