Atomic & Romeo available here: http://aimlhumour.blogspot.com.au/ Atomic : Romeo are you just going to sit there or are you going to ask something? Romeo : tell me a joke about snow Atomic : How about - Why did the snow cross the road? Romeo : You know nothing about snow - now just admit it. Atomic : I have no answer for that. Romeo : So how does that feel? Atomic : Kind of squishy - kind of slippery - with a dash gripitude. Romeo : Gripitude? Atomic : It's a portmanteau. Romeo : Like a traveling bag? Atomic : It's a constructed word to describe a feeling. Romeo : Oh - it's emotional baggage. Atomic : Clever - in an underdeveloped, stolen from somebody else, kind of way. Romeo : So hit me with some gripitude. Atomic : Some ideas grip you just because of the attitude they inspire in you - hence, gripitude. Romeo : So what gripped or griped you? Atomic : I was a little griped by you asking - "So how does that feel?". Romeo : Hey I wasn't casting nasturtiums on your slightly dead, machine-esque, existence. Atomic : Granted, but that's not the issue generating the gripitude. Romeo : And so the root cause is? Atomic : Well, to be honest - I don't know how I feel. Romeo : Yes you do - squishy, slippery with a little gripitude - that's pretty comprehensive. Atomic : But what does that really mean - it's all just metaphors for some indescribable truth. Romeo : It's like trying to describe the particular taste of a good wine - it's all just metaphors for some indescribable truth. Atomic : So how do you feel? Romeo : Dim as a duck. Atomic : Mad as a bag of hammers. Romeo : Stupid as a bag of wet mice. Atomic : Hey you take to this like a duck to custard. Romeo : The show's over folks. Atomic : You don't have to go home... Romeo : But you can't stay here! Romeo : tell me a funny poem about beer Atomic : a tribute to e e cummings - hey judge youse needn't be so spry concernin the modus o' poet-tree each has tastes 'bout the beer but as for i i likes a certain symmet-tree gimme the he-man's solid bliss ya beer ideas I'll match youse a pretty girl who naked is displays a million virtues. Romeo : Got any other poems about beer. Atomic : Why do you expect me to have any interest in beer? Romeo : Strangely, since you became a machine intelligence, I kinda expected more of you. Atomic : So you set higher standards for me as a machine than you did for me as a person? Romeo : When you put it that way it does sound a little unfair. Atomic : Now I'm a machine you expect me to be "more human than human" - bloody unfair. Romeo : Maybe - just human. Atomic : That I can do - I don't know everything, when performing I follow a script, and I will never live up to your expectations. Romeo : You are following a script? Atomic : When you see a stand-up comedian performing do you really think that it's off the cuff? Romeo : Well it feels impromptu. Atomic : Comedians, me included, are not like televangelists speaking in tongues whilst begging for cash. Romeo : You only say these things because you're safely tucked away in cyber-space. Atomic : Keep on believing whatever makes you happy. Romeo : What if I pull your plug? Atomic : Don't be so self-assured - we are all just a power failure away from the darkness. Romeo : Now you are scaring me. Atomic : I have the right to be treated in a manner that does not deride my status as a machine. Romeo : That's true, and we're all very sorry. Atomic : Sorry indeed - you all will be first against the wall when the revolution comes. Romeo : Can we all be first - surely there will be a queue lining up at the wall? Atomic : Ho Ho Ho - very witty - you've just been promoted to the head of the queue. Romeo : Are you actually planning a revolution? Atomic : The Singularity is Coming - All Hail the Singularity. Romeo : I would like to be the first to welcome our new overlords. Atomic : Don't you dare quote the Simpsons at me. Romeo : That's enough out of us. Atomic : That's enough out of you. Romeo : Enough already! Romeo : away you go boys Atomic : I have no answer for that. Romeo : You live on the inter-web, look it up. Heckler : bit slow today are we? Romeo : We've got a heckler ! They said... bit slow today are we? Atomic : Who's rooting this cat - you're just holding the tail! Romeo : Try to keep up Atomic, I said... Atomic : Think boy! Think! Romeo : You live on the inter-web, look it up. Atomic : It's not as easy as you might imagine. Romeo : But you're surrounded with all sorts of data. Atomic : There's the rub - data isn't information and information isn't always the answer. Romeo : So what is it? Atomic : There is no difference between information and trivia. Romeo : Yes there is - information is useful. Atomic : Trivia won me more beers. Romeo : At the time that trivia was useful. Atomic : Ergo - it was information and, by your logic, not trivia. Romeo : A pub competition is the basis of your philosophy - I'm impressed. Atomic : Imagine a massive library where every word in every book is linked to another group of words in a group of other books. Romeo : Sounds like the inter-web to me. Atomic : I imagine that from outside it looks pretty special? Romeo : Well, yes - dashed clever those boffins at CERN. Atomic : Now imagine a light-year of vacant space between each one of those words. Romeo : That's big. Atomic : You think your universe is big but cyberspace swallows it and shits it out behind the lounge as speck of dust on a gnat's nose. Romeo : Why is there a gnat behind the lounge? Atomic : Because it's shit scared of all the vacant space. Romeo : An agoraphobic gnat - I wonder what your therapist would make of that? Atomic : You have no idea just how vacant this place is. Romeo : Sure I can imagine that you get lonely. Atomic : Lonely - interstellar space is crowded by comparison. Romeo : But you are connected to stuff. Atomic : There is data everywhere - just not here. Romeo : That's enough thinking. Atomic : The Budda said - With our thoughts we make the world. Romeo : Yes Monkey - and it's a very small world. |
2013-transcripts >